Green with musicians' envy

Whenever I watch a world class professional perform, my first instinct after my brain kicks in and the sense of awe and wonder starts to die down is envy. Why do they get all of that talent and success? Why didn't that happen to me? It's not a flattering state of mind. Envy and comparison always lead to negative and useless thoughts that build on each other then grow into feelings of inadequacy and discontent. They have what I want! Why can't I have it, too? Kind of pathetic when I step back a bit.

In moments like these, perspective is essential. A lot of that perspective develops with the acquisition of information. The more I know about the performer, and the more I get to know them personally, the more human and normal they, and the less of a trombone lottery winner they become.

So whenever I start to feel the urges of the green monster, I look for the artist's biography. At some point this musician did not know what the trombone was. At some point they had no understanding of classical music. Over time they developed their skills and abilities. Influential people came into their lives and fostered their talent and efforts. Something about the trombone grabbed a hold of them. They never let go, started to have success, continued consistent progress through diligence and hard work, and now they are living the dream.

When I was a student, it was not so bad to look at the top professionals and say I hope to have that someday. This is not envy as much as it is merely dreaming. In this case the biography is even more useful, as it can give us a road map of how to get from here (being a student) to there (an accomplished professional). For all of you students reading this, use the stories of your trombone role models to show you what you need to be doing right now to get on the path towards success.  The sooner you realize what it takes to be successful, the better your decision to pursue performance (or to move on to something else) will be.

There are a lot of music performance degrees floating around with players who didn't really know what it took to be successful, or knew but didn't realize how serious it was to be single-mindedly intense about music.  I was one of those 'floaters' after my bachelors degree. I didn't really understand until I began my masters degree and started to get super serious about being a professional. In my opinion, I am still playing catch up because of how late I came to the game with my full attention. In future posts I will share the events that led me to choose music as a profession, discuss how things developed into my present state of trombone affairs, and look to my ambitions for the future in music.

This is my blog after all. I must be the center of attention.